God of the Brokenhearted

Lately I’ve been wondering what it means to have a broken heart, because there are times when mine feels cracked around the edges.  I know what it is to cry myself to sleep.  I know that there are times when I wonder if anything will ever be the same again.  I know what it is to be so afraid that I can’t imagine anything making that fear go away.  Afraid for my future…afraid of being alone…afraid of what will happen to those I love.  I know what it is to long with all my soul just to hug someone I love one last time…someone who is gone out of my life forever.  I miss their smile.  I’m tired of being alone.  I’m tired of these lonely miles.

I thought I found the love I’d dreamed of.  And those moments were some of the happiest of my life…just beginning to trust again.  Letting myself let go of those inhibitions and fears, those warnings and what-ifs and torturous premonitions.  I wanted so badly to make it right.  And now I am broken, again.  Disappointed and crushed and all the more hardened.  In my moments of sunshine I want to trust him again, but I know I shouldn’t.  In my moments of blackness, I doubt I will ever open my heart to anyone again.  I don’t want it to be hurt again.  I would rather stay curled up, like a rose that refuses to bloom, and never let myself feel the sunshine and the gentle breeze and see the blue sky again, because I am terrified of the rain.

Is your heart broken, friend?  Is your soul weary and lonely?  You may hide it with smiles and laughter and flirtatiousness and fun times.  But underneath it all, are you heartsick?  Would you, like me, trade all the attention, all the praise, all the teasing and games and foolishness, for one love that would never ever leave you?  For one lover who is everlasting?

 

I found Him.

 

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

“He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

 

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